...other meditations

breaking down the wall

i feel as if i've been doing some heavy-duty masonry work lately. this has nothing to do with brickwork, laying a foundation or anything constructive for that matter. the work i've been doing is, in fact, destructive. so, what exactly have i been doing? i have been building a wall. i've been able to build it very high, very long and very thick over a short period of time. how could this have happened? after coming to my senses, i saw my error and realized that i had separated myself from God by building it.

the most disappointing thing is that i knew better. i knew what it took to break down that wall of sin that separated me from God in the first place. it took the sacrifice and the precious blood of His one and only Son, Christ Jesus, to break down that barrier of sin and separation. my Jesus, my Peace and my Peacemaker, gave His everything for me and i've treated His gift of salvation with irreverence through my own disobedience and disrespect.

a week ago, i read a scripture that convicted me and revealed my sinful ways. it was just what i needed to wake me up!

for He Himself is our peace, Who has made the two one and has destroyed the barrier , the dividing wall of hostility, by abolishing in His flesh the law with its commandments and regulations… ephesians 2:14,15

i understand now that for every moment or situation that i didn't rely on You, i laid another brick. for every opportunity of prayer and devotion that i missed, i laid another brick. for each instance that i put myself above you, my God, i laid another brick. i have been so self-righteous and self-serving. forgive me, Father, for building this wall between You and i!

since this wake-up, God's mercy has comforted me and restored me once again. He has helped me begin to break down the wall that i foolishly built. He is also helping me to see that there are still things that i need to change within me. i must choose to make those changes; He's waiting on me (the feet dragger). in time, those changes will come about with yet another measure of His remarkable restoration.

brick by brick, it's coming down
step by step, i'm moving forward,

tamara