...other meditations

wash, rinse, repeat

a new year has begun, whether i am ready or not. i wonder if i kept my ‘new year's resolutions' last year? did i even make any? did i make any promises to God? i am beginning to speculate if i failed myself last year, or worse yet, failed God. i am sure that i fell short in many ways. yet, i am a firm believer that my God is the God of fresh starts. He is merciful and patient and ever-willing to clean me up over and over again.

my situation is very similar to those instructions on a shampoo bottle. everyone's read them and joked about them wondering why, after washing and rinsing, would one need to repeat the same process? still the directions read: wash, rinse and repeat. sometimes it's necessary. often, i am convicted of the same sin over and over again. so, when i revisited a memory verse the other day, i remembered this cycle. i remembered how faithful God was and how He felt about my unfaithfulness toward him...

but seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.
matthew 6:33

instead of seeking God first, my thoughts focused on worry and the ways that i could fix things myself. by doing this, i ended up in an unfavorable place to be: the gutter. after wallowing in that dirty gutter for countless days, i cried out to God, confessed my sin and repented. i knew that i had done wrong by failing to keep my eyes on Him; my Author and Perfector of my faith. and when i sought my Father's help and asked for His forgiveness, my merciful God scooped me up into His arms, washed me clean and put me back on His path. i was forgiven; i was clean!

i know that this will not be the last time my Father will need to rescue me. it will happen many, many more times, i‘m sure. yet for this act of love, i must strive that much harder to seek Him first. i must trust Him and offer myself to Him. He deserves it! i am so thankful that my God is more than a God of second chances. He is the God of fresh, new beginnings, no matter what i've done. whether it's january 1 st , december 31 st or anywhere in between, my new year and new life can begin at any second, any minute, any hour on any day!

breathing in the fresh, new day,

tamara