...other meditations

reality check

i've never been this vulnerable before, but i needed to share how much i struggled with this month's meditation. i must also confess that it is two weeks overdue. why? there is no good excuse really. just know that i am about to share what i have learned from this experience. even now, i am finding it hard to focus and find the ‘right' words to say, but i pray that God will use this meditation for His Glory and bring hope and strength to all who read it.

within the past weeks, i have been dealing with many issues. not just one or two problems, but several. they seemed to compound as the days went by. surely this was a bombardment of trials strategically placed before me to test my faith. however, i found myself paralyzed. not paralyzed in fear mind you. no, i was paralyzed with numbness. it was as if i was watching the world move on without me, yet all i could do was just sit there and watch. it was truly frustrating!

what i finally realized in the midst of the mess, was that i was being given a reality check. God was doing all He could do to pull me out of my little world and into His reality. unfortunately for me, it took quite a bit of time and a stack of troubles for me to realize that i had totally lost my focus. God used this opportunity to draw me back to Him.

come sunday, at church, i called out to God. in my frustration, i truly wanted to hear from Him. the words that came to me were profound and riveting…

come to Me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. for My yoke is easy and My burden is light. matthew 11:28-30

the words of Jesus spoke gently to my heart. i knew i was weary and burdened, but for some reason (human error) i remained in that place. i was content with carrying my own yoke while perfecting the art of putting on a strong façade for the world. certainly i've dealt with issues in the past that made me a stronger person. hasn't everyone? however, i truly believe that God intended for me to embrace this time of weakness and give my burdens over to Him.

although i am still healing and feeling some pain, i can rest assured knowing that i don't have to be strong. in my weakness, i know i can turn to my Jesus and give it all to Him.

in need of rest,

tamara

but we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us. we are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed. 2 corinthians 4:7-9